Permissive Parenting is often blamed for creating spoiled children, who are out of control. But not for the reason most people think. http://member.educatekidsforfuture.com/
In this video I will briefly discuss some of the results of permissive parenting.
Many of us think that what the spoiled child needs is a firm hand. Needs to be shown who is the boss. We think he needs to be punished. What children really need is to be better understood.
The permissive parent may mean well. They want their child to have some freedom to become the person they are and want to be, to learn to make their own choices. And those things are crucial for the growth of the child. But they need to start with security. Always. Until they feel secure, and safe they don’t have a good solid foundation for growing their emotional maturity. They are not open to learning the many lessons of life when they are stressed out.
Instead of permissive parenting, what a lot of us do is control our children. We want to decide what kind of person they should be, and how they should live their life. Behave this way, say this, think that. That does not help their growth either. And it gives them a poor example of how to treat other people. Imagine a friend doing it to you.
My mission is to help parents become the parents they want to be. I do that by giving you an understanding of the child, and why they need what they need. But understanding is not what makes a parent change. We also need small steps to take. One at a time, and focused. Changing ourselves, our views, is not an easy task. That’s why simply reading a book is not enough. We need to shift our perspective. We need to be aware of our tendencies, and we need to think about the consequences of our actions. Our kids are picking up on everything.
In this video I will briefly discuss some of the results of permissive parenting. 0:00
You don’t want your child to grow up to be an adult who needs to get his way all the time, and who gets frustrated when he doesn’t. 0:06
To me parenting is mostly about guiding your child into maturity. 0:14
You don’t want your child to think that happiness is about getting what you want 0:18
Or they will just try and get one thing after another. And we all know that doesn’t lead to happiness 0:23
You don’t want your child to become an adult who lets people walk all over them 0:29
You show them how to avoid that by not letting them walk all over you. 0:33
In a respectful way 0:37
How you interact with your child is the biggest lesson your child gets on how to interact with others 0:39
You want them to grow up to be a mature adult who can have emotions without having a tantrum 0:46
Or stuffing the feelings deep down only to have them come back out later 0:51
They need practice at not getting their way, and learning to manage the emotions that result from it 0:57
They also need to feel secure, like someone is looking out for them 1:02
They need the security of knowing that if they go too far, you will stop them, for their own good 1:07
If they don’t have that sense, they will be stressed out, scared 1:11
Because they really don’t know where they are going 1:16
They will push you to see if they can get that sense of security until they get it, or until you lose it, and yell at them to stop 1:20
If you want to develop a parenting style that feels natural
And doesn’t include power struggles 1:27
Or yelling 1:30
Have a look at my free step by step lessons on becoming a world class parent 1:32
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