The Parent Corner: Autocratic Parenting aka Authoritarian Parenting
Tag: Authoritarian Page 1 of 5
Link to Introduction: http://youtu.be/oxlODLolZ2M
Link to Part 1 Uninvolved: http://youtu.be/jAurwbvfVzs
Link to Part 2 Permissive: http://youtu.be/mAJTQ-JASTA
Link to Part 4 Authoritative: http://youtu.be/CGr5dfMg1L4
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Many couples struggle with their different parenting styles, one being generally strict and one laissez faire. We also struggle within ourselves-if we are too permissive and things become chaotic, we may explode with anger. If we are overly strict and that doesn’t work, we may give up completely. We don’t want to be authoritarian, that is, using coercion, blame, and threats; nor do we want to be permissive, that is, doing anything to please or giving up boundaries completely.
How do you balance the desire to develop responsibility and freedom in your children to bring them up as capable and loving individuals?
There are positive motivations underlying both authoritarian and permissive parenting. Yet when parents are too strict or too lenient there are harmful consequences.
Some parents are strict or permissive in only one or two areas and then the opposite in other areas, such as doing homework, use of technology, eating habits, and bedtime. Both philosophies have wonderful values at their core, but can be used to such an extreme that they backfire.
Authoritarian parents want their children to be capable, successful, responsible, and independent.
Excessive authoritarianism can be harmful in the following five ways.
1. Relationship is ignored. The relationship with the child gets ignored, and there’s little appreciation for playfulness, imagination, and creativity.
2. Harsh inner critic. The child develops a voice in his or her head that is overly self-critical, replicating the parent’s voice.
3. Target for bossy people. Having learned to be obedient, the child is primed to be submissive to other authoritarians.
4. Sneaky and secretive. Obedient children often can only satisfy their own curiosities and desires by sneaking around and lying to their parents because they are afraid of their parents’ strict reactions.
5. Hatred and anger. If there’s a lot of shame and punishment, the child may end up hating themselves and/or their parents. Such hatred and anger may also lead to a violent demeanor.
Permissive parents want their children to be happy, to feel loved, to be creative, and to enjoy the moment.
Excessive permissiveness, however, can lead to the following four harmful effects:
1. Demanding children. When parents’ fear of conflict leads them to overindulge their children, the children learn to become entitled and demanding.
2. No self-discipline. An over-indulged child doesn’t learn to postpone gratification, a key quality to success and happiness in life.
3. Anxious and insecure. Ironically, when children are allowed to do whatever they want without boundaries, they feel less self-empowered and confident. They don’t know how to place boundaries on themselves or on others.
4. No respect. If the parent is always trying to please the child, the message is sent that the parent feels very uncomfortable with any kind of anxiety or discomfort.
How to balance responsibility and freedom
1. Discipline with respect. Provide discipline with respect and kindness. You can set boundaries without being overly demanding or authoritarian.
2. Listen with empathy. If you listen to your children, you’ll be able to know where they’re coming from. As a result, you’ll be able to speak to them more effectively. Also, when you listen to your children, they are more likely to listen to you.
3. Be reasonable. Don’t be afraid to be flexible or amend a rule or a consequence, especially if you set the consequence when you were in the heat of anger. But this doesn’t mean you change reasonable rules and consequences simply because they beg you to do so.
4. Don’t try to be liked. You can be kind and enjoy being liked. Yet the moment they sense that you desperately want them to like you, you lose your authority and the respect they have for you.
5. Stand firm when necessary. Don’t be afraid to insist on rules and consequences that you believe are reasonable and important. Stand firm, not by losing your temper, but by using your personal power, which is often steady and quiet. Avoid begging and pleading. That only shows lack of personal authority.
In conclusion, try to role model having self-discipline and respect, while still being able to enjoy life, and have a relationship with your child.
by Dr. Alison Poulsen
Healthy Relationships and
Googleusercontent search. And both styles of parenting set high standards conduct. Each one carries 9 mar 2017 authoritarian or autocratic parenting is a style characterized by high demands from parents and low responsiveness. Authoritarian parenting what happens to the kids? Msu extensionauthoritarian style types of styles and how identify yours authoritarian characteristics effects. This is the ‘because i told you so’ parent who likely to degrade a child and ignore child’s point of view authoritative vsthere’s big difference between discipline punishmentshare tweet email 10 dec 2013 in psychology today, there are four major recognized parenting styles authoritative, neglectful, permissive, authoritarian. As i explain elsewhere, authoritative parents are more responsive and nurturing towards their kids the authoritarian parenting style is about being strict stern. Alleydog parenting style authoritarian authoritative vs checkpregnancy. Find out which parenting style is the best for your child how it different from other styles? Permissive pretty much exact opposite of authoritarian psychology definition in normal everyday a restrictive that emphasizes respect work and effort 13 nov 2013. Authoritarian parenting style and its effects. The 4 parenting styles what works and doesn’t. The authoritarian parenting style a guide for the science minded. But there are important differences. Parents parents magazine. Strict authoritarian parenting long term psychological effectsauthoritarian and authoritative styles which is best? . When feedback does occur, it is often negative they have similar names, ‘authoritarian’ and ‘authoritative’ parenting. Parenting styles characteristics and effects for brain. Authoritarian parenting? Verywell. What is authoritarian parenting? Verywell. Oct 2016 authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles are both that have strict rules high expectations, but differ in communication with 4 aug 2009 though different researchers give names to them, the usually said be authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, parents standards for their kids firm rulesnetwork errorAuthoritarian parenting? Verywell. It insists on unquestioning obedience, and enforces good behavior through threats, shaming, 19 jan 2017 authoritarian parenting style. 20 jul 2017 authoritarian parenting is a style characterized by high demands and low responsiveness. Mistakes tend to be punished harshly. Parents with an authoritarian style have very high expectations of their children, yet provide little in the way feedback and nurturance. Is authoritarian parenting bad for my child? Healthlinepsychology glossary. What is authoritarian parenting? Verywell verywell what parenting 2794955 url? Q webcache. Authoritative vs authoritarian parenting styles for brain. The parenting style authoritarian. Parents expect high from get a general understanding of the authoritarian parenting style and why it can be detrimental in raising successful well rounded children sharp i
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C. There are high expectations of each family member
E. Punishment may involve withdrawal of approval
A nurse who works with families may encounter various parenting styles. The authoritarian parenting style is one that is strict and where the parents exert a great amount of control over their children. The parents may physically punish the children or discipline them by withdrawal of approval.
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