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Parenting Styles | Authoritarian | Authoritative | Permissive | Unresponsive Styles| Educational Hub

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People With Overly Permissive Parents Share Absurd Things They'd Let Them Do (r/AskReddit)

Redditors who grew up with overly permissive parents, what was the most absurd thing you were allowed to do? (r/AskReddit)
People With Overly Permissive Parents Share Absurd Things They’d Let Them Do

Share your own stories in the comments below 👇

Make sure to like and subscribe for more videos, Thanks for watching!

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Authoritarian vs Permissive Parents and Healthy Relationships

Many couples struggle with their different parenting styles, one being generally strict and one laissez faire. We also struggle within ourselves-if we are too permissive and things become chaotic, we may explode with anger. If we are overly strict and that doesn’t work, we may give up completely. We don’t want to be authoritarian, that is, using coercion, blame, and threats; nor do we want to be permissive, that is, doing anything to please or giving up boundaries completely.

How do you balance the desire to develop responsibility and freedom in your children to bring them up as capable and loving individuals?

There are positive motivations underlying both authoritarian and permissive parenting. Yet when parents are too strict or too lenient there are harmful consequences.

Some parents are strict or permissive in only one or two areas and then the opposite in other areas, such as doing homework, use of technology, eating habits, and bedtime. Both philosophies have wonderful values at their core, but can be used to such an extreme that they backfire.

Authoritarian parenting

Authoritarian parents want their children to be capable, successful, responsible, and independent.

Excessive authoritarianism can be harmful in the following five ways.

1. Relationship is ignored. The relationship with the child gets ignored, and there’s little appreciation for playfulness, imagination, and creativity.

2. Harsh inner critic. The child develops a voice in his or her head that is overly self-critical, replicating the parent’s voice.

3. Target for bossy people. Having learned to be obedient, the child is primed to be submissive to other authoritarians.

4. Sneaky and secretive. Obedient children often can only satisfy their own curiosities and desires by sneaking around and lying to their parents because they are afraid of their parents’ strict reactions.

5. Hatred and anger. If there’s a lot of shame and punishment, the child may end up hating themselves and/or their parents. Such hatred and anger may also lead to a violent demeanor.

Permissive parenting

Permissive parents want their children to be happy, to feel loved, to be creative, and to enjoy the moment.

Excessive permissiveness, however, can lead to the following four harmful effects:

1. Demanding children. When parents’ fear of conflict leads them to overindulge their children, the children learn to become entitled and demanding.

2. No self-discipline. An over-indulged child doesn’t learn to postpone gratification, a key quality to success and happiness in life.

3. Anxious and insecure. Ironically, when children are allowed to do whatever they want without boundaries, they feel less self-empowered and confident. They don’t know how to place boundaries on themselves or on others.

4. No respect. If the parent is always trying to please the child, the message is sent that the parent feels very uncomfortable with any kind of anxiety or discomfort.

How to balance responsibility and freedom

Respectful parenting

1. Discipline with respect. Provide discipline with respect and kindness. You can set boundaries without being overly demanding or authoritarian.

2. Listen with empathy. If you listen to your children, you’ll be able to know where they’re coming from. As a result, you’ll be able to speak to them more effectively. Also, when you listen to your children, they are more likely to listen to you.

3. Be reasonable. Don’t be afraid to be flexible or amend a rule or a consequence, especially if you set the consequence when you were in the heat of anger. But this doesn’t mean you change reasonable rules and consequences simply because they beg you to do so.

4. Don’t try to be liked. You can be kind and enjoy being liked. Yet the moment they sense that you desperately want them to like you, you lose your authority and the respect they have for you.

5. Stand firm when necessary. Don’t be afraid to insist on rules and consequences that you believe are reasonable and important. Stand firm, not by losing your temper, but by using your personal power, which is often steady and quiet. Avoid begging and pleading. That only shows lack of personal authority.

In conclusion, try to role model having self-discipline and respect, while still being able to enjoy life, and have a relationship with your child.

by Dr. Alison Poulsen

Healthy Relationships and
Effective Communication

www.sowhatireallymeant.com
@alisonpoulsen
https://www.facebook.com/dralisonpoulsen

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Permissive Parents

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Are Permissive Parents Spoiling Their Children?

Alfie Kohn, PhD writer and speaker, talks with Robbyn Peters Bennett with StopSpanking.org about moving beyond rewards and punishment. Dr. Kohn, using compelling scientific evidence, challenges the popular cultural belief that permissive, overly protective, and non-punishing sympathetic approaches to parenting is creating spoiled children. He argues that in fact, the major threat to healthy child development is posed by parenting that is too controlling rather than too indulgent.

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KCA PARENTING STYLES (Authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive)

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Permissive Parenting – What It Is and The Long Term Effects on a Child’s Self Esteem

What is permissive parenting and how does it affect us? http://beautifullyauthentic.com/permissive-parenting/ The way we parent our children, and the way we were parented, affects our sense of self-esteem and personality.

We make beliefs out of circumstances that happened to us as children.

In this video about permissive parenting, you will see examples of times parents were permissive, and how it affected the child long term. Here’s an example:

You don’t hold yourself accountable because no one ever held you accountable when you were a child, because you had permissive parents. You now do this, OR you are too controlling with your own children… although, you still struggle yourself with holding yourself accountable… because you’re still mad you were abandoned AND because you were never taught how to make decisions, have limits.

We are working towards being loving and firm. Not too loving and friends with our children. But instead, having a healthy relationship, where we guide them, they trust us, and go out into the world with limits and boundaries so they feel safe to explore and come back to us.

YOU WANT to be accountable, but instead you procrastinate and end up telling yourself you’re not good enough, just the same way you felt as a child. You can stop doing this by re-parenting your inner child , dropping the emotional baggage and being loving and firm at the same time.

If you need support dealing with permissive parenting, feel free to reach out to me personally.

Watch this video where Heather shares Monday Mommy Me Time Permissive Parenting

Heather Hundhausen
Love & Relationship Coach
http://beautifullyauthentic

You can also subscribe to my YouTube channel for more videos on Loving yourself and so much more! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0wXrHfN26NNiiENFP_dG2A

Sign up for Heather’s 3 tips that will help you to set better boundaries at http://beautifullyauthentic.com/free-video-training/

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What Is Permissive Parenting? | Ventuno The Raising – Parenting Show

Permissive parenting is sometimes known as indulgent parenting. Parents who exhibit this style make relatively few demands upon their children. Because these parents have low expectations for self-control and maturity, they rarely discipline their children.

Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/pages/Parenting/465071553575008
Twitter : https://twitter.com/parentingventun
Youtube : http://www.youtube.com/user/VentunoParenting/

A Ventuno Production http://www.ventunotech.com

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Permissive Parenting | Why Is Permissive Parenting Bad

Permissive Parenting is often blamed for creating spoiled children, who are out of control. But not for the reason most people think. http://member.educatekidsforfuture.com/

In this video I will briefly discuss some of the results of permissive parenting.

Many of us think that what the spoiled child needs is a firm hand. Needs to be shown who is the boss. We think he needs to be punished. What children really need is to be better understood.
The permissive parent may mean well. They want their child to have some freedom to become the person they are and want to be, to learn to make their own choices. And those things are crucial for the growth of the child. But they need to start with security. Always. Until they feel secure, and safe they don’t have a good solid foundation for growing their emotional maturity. They are not open to learning the many lessons of life when they are stressed out.

Instead of permissive parenting, what a lot of us do is control our children. We want to decide what kind of person they should be, and how they should live their life. Behave this way, say this, think that. That does not help their growth either. And it gives them a poor example of how to treat other people. Imagine a friend doing it to you.

My mission is to help parents become the parents they want to be. I do that by giving you an understanding of the child, and why they need what they need. But understanding is not what makes a parent change. We also need small steps to take. One at a time, and focused. Changing ourselves, our views, is not an easy task. That’s why simply reading a book is not enough. We need to shift our perspective. We need to be aware of our tendencies, and we need to think about the consequences of our actions. Our kids are picking up on everything.

In this video I will briefly discuss some of the results of permissive parenting. 0:00

You don’t want your child to grow up to be an adult who needs to get his way all the time, and who gets frustrated when he doesn’t. 0:06

To me parenting is mostly about guiding your child into maturity. 0:14

You don’t want your child to think that happiness is about getting what you want 0:18

Or they will just try and get one thing after another. And we all know that doesn’t lead to happiness 0:23

You don’t want your child to become an adult who lets people walk all over them 0:29

You show them how to avoid that by not letting them walk all over you. 0:33

In a respectful way 0:37

How you interact with your child is the biggest lesson your child gets on how to interact with others 0:39

You want them to grow up to be a mature adult who can have emotions without having a tantrum 0:46

Or stuffing the feelings deep down only to have them come back out later 0:51

They need practice at not getting their way, and learning to manage the emotions that result from it 0:57

They also need to feel secure, like someone is looking out for them 1:02

They need the security of knowing that if they go too far, you will stop them, for their own good 1:07

If they don’t have that sense, they will be stressed out, scared 1:11

Because they really don’t know where they are going 1:16

They will push you to see if they can get that sense of security until they get it, or until you lose it, and yell at them to stop 1:20

If you want to develop a parenting style that feels natural
And doesn’t include power struggles 1:27

Or yelling 1:30

Have a look at my free step by step lessons on becoming a world class parent 1:32

Website Post on Permissive Parenting

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Permissive Parenting – Mean girls

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